I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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