is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
