Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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