i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
