How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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