Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
