Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
