You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
