I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
