haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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