Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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