dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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