How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
COCAINE IS GR8
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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