two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
