hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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