If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
