I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I want her autograph on my taint
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
