Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
