I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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