I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
