so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
