Buhtt sex?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
