i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
