I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
