turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
