BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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