Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
