Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
