She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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