Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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