I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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