i jhust puked up my retainher.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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