Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
