I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
