How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize