She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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