I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
