don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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