I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize