Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
