it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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