She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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