Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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