I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
