and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
