What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
