Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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