You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
