you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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