I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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