I murdered the dance floor call the cops
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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