how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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