god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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