I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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