he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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