i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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