Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
