Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
