remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
