Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
